"Is it normal to enjoy eating French fries at McDonald’s and puliyodharai from the temple? Is it possible for a single person to enjoy watching 'namma ooru' mega serials and Quentin Tarantino?" "Of course. Why not?"- would be anybody's refrain. Because human beings, by some peculiar nature, have learnt to enjoy the best of everything. We enjoy watching and appreciate a superlative task, regardless of the identity of the performer. That is why we give an Australian batsman a standing ovation when he scores a century in a match against India. Because deep inside we know that while patriotism flows strongly in our blood, it is no reason to reject the wonderful display of cricket that was on show or pretend that we did not enjoy the game. And that is why even during our hours of frustration while memorising Newton’s equations of motion for the next day's exam, we are still able to pay a moment's homage to the great scientist whose work it was.
Which is why it is shocking to read Ayn Rand's novel 'atlas shrugged' and see the description of human depravity and celebration of mediocrity in a doomed world which seems so alien yet strikes a chord deep within. Rand’s novel revolves around a few businessmen who revolutionise the world with their inventions and who are excellent at the job that they do and how they deal with the world around them- the bureaucrats and the so-called philanthropists.
I originally began writing a review about the novel, but gave up; realising that it would be futile to express in words what one feels while experiencing something rare and beautiful. Well, made me rethink a whole lot of things in my life.
well,this is probably the week when most of my self-revelation is scheduled to happen i guess,so..
And I finally understood that tenet from Bhagawad Gita-"do your duty and do not expect the result". I was crestfallen when i entered the counselling hall during the counselling session held by Anna University. For some unknown reason, i had got this desire to get into electronics and instrumentation engineering at MIT. As soon as i entered, i saw on the big board displaying the vacancies for each course and college community-wise. There were no seats left for E&I in my community. As we had decided earlier to select computer science and engineering at MIT in that case, i ended up doing just that. I was heartbroken and wondered what more i could have done. i had sacrificed countless hours of sleep, TV watching, playing to studying and it was grossly unfair that it be rewarded this way.
It was only during my first semester while studying engineering graphics that i understood that getting CSE had been a blessing in disguise. i had absolutely no talent for circuits or anything related to mechanics. It was during my second semester that i understood that getting CSE had been my reward. While i didn't know what i would or wouldn't enjoy, God apparently did. The joy i get while writing a program is boundless. And not being much of a writer let me borrow from Rand.
".... Joy is the goal of existence, and joy is not to be stumbled upon, but to be achieved.."
"Happiness is that state of consciousness which proceeds from the achievement of one's values."
Well, that pretty much sums it up. and it is for this exultant feeling called joy that i do not mind spending sleepless nights in front of a computer, programming. And i realise that it is not just the results which make me happy, programming is a joy in itself and thus a means to an equally exultant goal. But the result can never take away the joy that i experience in the moment i get the correct output for a program that i code by myself.
And this is the joy, which pretty much forms the core of my existence.
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